On Friday, QTCinderella went live with Vanillamace and KatieB to play a game of Phasmophobia. Instead, she dived into a speech where she defended her associations with racists, homophobes, and transphobic family members and friends.
The most notable one? Her father who refuses to accept her transgender sibling, that she proudly states she’s in good connections with.
A lot of families have unaccepting members, and the circumstance is different for everybody whether you want to be involved with them or not. The issue isn’t her family; the issue is how casually she spoke about it. As if proximity to a hateful community isn’t a big deal.
This whole situation was even more uncomfortable considering who she was with.
Sitting next to two creators who are openly tied to queer spaces, who live in the line of the very bigotry she was attempting to soften. Dragging queer creators into a conversation about her ability to tolerate bigotry felt self-platforming, and deeply tone-deaf.
I also can’t ignore the hypocrisy. Claiming you don’t associate with bigots… while openly continuing to associate with bigots. Family is complicated, but you don’t get to act morally superior while standing on the same ground.
You especially don’t get to speak on behalf of marginalized communities you are not a part of.
The privilege was loud. She spoke about transphobia and homophobia as though it were just a simple disagreement and not something that actively harms people.
The apology that followed felt surface-level. There was no real accountability being taken, she only apologized for the way she said things, not what she said.
There’s also discussion online that KatieB and Vanillamace are blameless, and that they were right to stay silent. They were visibly uncomfortable, but silence is still complicity. They are adults, creators with large rising platforms, they are people who benefit queer audiences.
They should have tried to intervene or redirect the conversation, because they knew they didn’t align with what QTCinderella was saying. Instead, the burden fell unevenly on Vanilla, who caught much of the backlash for simply being present.
Theres this whole argument that cutting off racist or transphobic family is extreme; they’re still your family. Others say continuing to be close to people who refuse to change only makes them think they are safe.
Both sides have their own reason for existing, but when you have a platform, maintaining relationships publicly and defending them publicly becomes a choice that have consequences right behind them.
QT tried to tell us that association doesn’t define a person, but in a world where people are targeted and harmed because of identity, that claim isn’t neutral. It’s privilege talking.
